Groundhog Day

Armando examines lessons from The Bear and determines why we often feel stuck.

From FX’s The Bear

"Have you ever felt like you were stuck in the same day?"

"Like Groundhog Day? Yeah."

"What did you do to get unstuck?"

"I started working here."

In season 4 of FX's hit show, The Bear, Carmy tries to find himself. He is insanely excellent at one thing. He is one of the most talented chefs in the world. He can take any food and turn it into a world-class dish. Yet, something seems off. Almost like one of his dishes missing a key component, his life is lacking something. In a season of self-actualization, Carmy realizes he does not love to cook anymore. This leads him to make a life-altering decision to step away from full-time cooking.

The Bear, as a series, has been widely acclaimed because it knows how to relate to people. It shows people aspects of themselves in fictional characters and makes people feel what the characters on screen feel.

So what do we do when we feel like Carmy? Today, I was reminded of a time when I felt like I was stuck in the same day, repeating it over and over again. Last night, my son Joseph was up from 3 AM to 5 AM, giggling like he had just watched a comedy sketch. There was a time when a good week only meant five out of seven nights were like that. Every night, Jojo would wake up and want to rock with someone in a rocking chair. Every night, we held him and begged him to fall back to sleep. A couple of hours later, we drained a pot of coffee and embarked for work. I would teach Algebra 1 to students who hate math and then go home to do it all over again.

Sometimes life feels like it is stuck in neutral. Is there hope for us? Do we need to make life-altering decisions like Carmy when this occurs?

There are a couple of problems with a person like Carmy. First, many people do not love their job. It has been said, "If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life." The saying is well-intentioned. The sentiment is that if you find something you are passionate about, even the hardest things about it will still feel rewarding.

Yet, Carmy shows us something about the human condition. One, he is one of the best chefs in the world. He is possibly the best, yet he has fallen out of love with the kitchen. So, you can be excellent at something at still not be happy. Next, since reaching his goal of becoming an excellent chef and helping others do the same is not making him happy anymore, he decided to move on. Humans have this odd proclivity of moving on from one passion to the next. It is never enough. Not loving our job is a normal thing. Most of us will never be as good as Carmy in anything. Even as a writer, I know I am not one of the best ones on this app, let alone in the world. And even though I love writing, it is still work. It takes time and effort. It takes intentionality because it doesn't pay my bills, so I have to carve out time. I still teach math to students who, by and large, hate the subject. One of them asked me, "When did you know you wanted to be a math teacher?" I responded, "I don't." They thought this was insane, but I told them I started teaching math because I needed a job with stable hours for my son. I also am pretty good at math and always have been, so it was the easiest to pass the certification test for me. And as a pastor, I love to teach people about God. Teaching math is not what I love to do, but it has allowed me to be a bi-vocational pastor at times. Now, at our church's academy, I have the privilege of teaching each subject from a biblical worldview.

Each of us has this longing to find an identity in what we do. But we were never meant to. When God made man, He made man a worker. But He did not make man to be defined by his work. Rather, God tells us that whatever we are doing, we should do it with all our heart for God and not for man. When we think like Carmy, we believe our lives our defined by what we do rather than the One who made us.

Second, Carmy is looking for some satisfaction. He thought becoming a world-class chef would fill this void that was left by his dysfunctional upbringing. After the Michelin stars and the awards for best young chef, he was still left wanting. Our hearts are always searching to be satisfied. Carmy believed reaching his dream would bring that satisfaction. At the end of season 4, Carmy was still searching for that elusive happiness.

For the believer, we have a source of true satisfaction. We are told the Lord is our Shepherd and in Him we will never be left in want (Psalm 23:1). Jesus said that He is the Bread of Life and all who eat of His flesh will be satisfied (John 6).

When you love anything in the world more than you love God, you will be left wanting like Carmy. Life may serve you a delicious meal, but you will be hungry again.

AW Tozer once wrote, "To have found God and still pursue Him is the soul's paradox of love." God is the only thing we can pursue and be truly satisfied with. He is the only thing that can wake us from the stupor of our groundhog days. He can turn each of our pursuits into avenues for us to make much of Him. And we will long for more of Him, not because we were not satisfied, but because, as one theologian put it, He is an ocean without shore. There is no depth or height, width or breadth that we can reach with our knowledge of God and reach the end. There is always more of God that we can know and be marveled by. This is our ultimate purpose. I hope that if you ever feel like Carmy, you will find that God is the one who can fill that void.